Morning Stories: Celebrating life

Why I wasn't here in the last two weeks

Hi, I’m back, although I still don’t feel like it. It’s not you, it’s me. Really. This is a difficult period for me and every year I pull back a little bit. Five years ago today we said goodbye to my in-laws. My mother-in-law died on 29th of January and my father-in-law exactly a week later, on the 5th of February. Even now I get tears in my eyes writing about it.

It’s a strange time for me every year. It’s emotional, but very under the skin emotional. It’s not a straight out sadness, it’s the feeling of absence, like there’s too much space around me.

My in-laws, they were amazing people. I’ve never experienced such a pure acceptance before I’ve met them. They took me for who I was and never tried to change me, I was good enough as I was. I miss them very much.

Today I didn’t feel like getting up. I wanted to curl up under the duvet and stay in bed. (I don’t know why I have it so difficult today. In the previous years it was the two weeks before.) I’ve got up anyway and went outside to look at the sheep. They always bring smile to my face. And anyway, my lovely in-laws left us with a direction: to celebrate life. So this is what I’ll be doing today.