Not an easy time

Health and reading

I’ve not been feeling well for the last week and as the stomach ache continues and I’m still waiting for the test results (hopefully only till tomorrow) my worries about it are growing and today I found myself crying over breakfast. I worry a lot, about everything, but when it comes to health issues it’s even worse.

I’m not often sick. I will have a cold somewhere in the autumn or spring, but I’ve never had a flu, I even did not have all the childhood diseases, or at least not that I, or anyone else, know of. I now know that it’s possible that I had them all without any visible symptoms, but I just don’t know for sure. Till now I thought that viruses simply don’t like me, but it turns out that I most probably had Covid, even though I didn’t notice anything. I only know, because I’m the vaccination trial program and they test my blood for the presence of the virus.

The thing is that when I get sick it’s mostly with something strange, something that makes the doctors call their colleagues to look at it too, because it’s something they’ve never seen before or the presentation is strange or whatever other reason they have to want someone else to have a look too. So I worry what it might be this time and waiting week long for test results is not making me worry less.

I’m trying to read and keep my mind occupied, but I can’t focus very well on non-fiction and so most of the books from my TBR-pile just don’t work well. The day before yesterday I’ve picked up Everything But the Truth by Gillian McAllister and it helped me to keep my mind occupied with other people’s problems for a day. I’ll try this trick today with Kala by Colin Walsh or Started Early, Took My Dog by Kate Atkinson, because I feel that only crime story can do this trick and keep my mind away from worrying.

Reading has always been my safe place. It helps me to keep the world at bay when I need it and I really need it now. I just need to choose a good book for it to work its magic.