Slowly disappearing
or finding other ways of being on the word wide web
A week ago I’ve deleted my LinkedIn account. Today it was time for Pinterest. Facebook lies in a distant past, I don’t even remember when I deleted my account there. Twitter, or whatever it is called these days, gone. I’m not active on Instagram anymore either, but I’m keeping it for now. I also still have Bluesky, but I’m not completely sure about it. I rarely post anything and I’m just not good at keeping up with multiple social media. Maybe Substack is enough?
I’m still blogging on my Polish blog and I’m thinking about starting a blog in Dutch. I need places to share stuff, but I don’t want to be pulled into endless scroll. It makes my mind tired (I think it’s mainly due to reels, I just can’t process so many moving images in such a short time) and leaves me feeling numb and over stimulated at the same time. So I’m looking for ways to calm my mind and my body while still interacting with likeminded people in this wide world.
I love the Internet, the possibilities it brings, the ease of staying in touch with people and getting to know people who are on the other side of the world. Instagram brought me a great friend, whom I would have never met otherwise. And my online bookclub also comes from this little app. But I don’t feel like it is my place anymore and so instead of staying on there and complain or feel depleted, I choose not to use it, at least for now.
Sometimes I long for the time when we were not as connected, when I didn’t know what weather it was in every part of the world and what everyone was doing. But it’s not only that, it’s also about being unreachable sometimes, like when we only had stationary phones. I mean I appreciate being able to call someone from wherever I am at any given moment, but I also don’t want to be called wherever and whenever.
Some time ago I’ve read September by Rosamung Pilcher and oh my, how I’ve enjoyed reading about the time from before the Internet and long before social media (the book was published in 1990). For a moment I wanted to go back in time. Since then my phone is permanently on silent mode and I’ve started using social media more consciously. This again led me to deleting some of them and taking a step back from Instagram.
It’s more quiet, sometimes I seat on my outdoor sofa and just look at the fields behind my fence. I don’t have to capture this moment to share on stories, I can just be there and feel a little bit uncomforable. It’s strange how it can feel like I don’t really exist without sharing the little moments from my days, while just being there and then is what existing is all about.
I don’t know where this will lead me, but I’m definitely curious and it’s the best feeling in the world.