Taking Stock: April 2023
Reading, appreciating, watching, waking and all other things in April
I don’t know if it’s the weather and winter lingering on or the feeling of lack of control over my working life, or maybe the combination of the two, most probably, but I haven’t been feeling great in April. Add not writing to the mix and we have a perfect recipe for a depressive episode. The only thing that let me know that it’s not very bad yet is that I kept exercising.
In March I was waiting for April, in April for May, and now I’m waiting for June as I have some holiday then and also I’ll be done with a work training I consider a waste of time and energy.
It’s been a strange month. I passed so quickly that I barely noticed it was here, but also gave me a feeling that I’m behind on things. Like in the garden, I feel like I should have done more, but on the other hand the weather wasn’t very friendly for it. So I couldn’t have done more that I did. We have a lot of new plants, two new trees, some flowers have been sown. So all is well and I’ll be sowing more this month.
Still, I feel like I’ve missed something, I just don’t really know what this something is.
In April I was:
Cooking: as little as possible and leaving it all to A.
Sipping: lots of tea as usual, less alcohol for better sleep
Reading: not very much. I’ve read quite a few books, but I’ve started even more. Reading was slow and scattered, sometimes even painful.
Thinking: lots about my life and how I want it to be and how I difficult is is for me to get where I want to be.
Remembering: my father-in-law as it would be his birthday in April
Wishing: I was writing and reading more
Enjoying: time spent on the sofa with A.
Appreciating: small moments of pleasure and joy
Loving: watching my plants grow, especially the ones I’m growing from a stone (avocado) or seed (lemon)
Buying: some books, I always do that when I’m feeling low. I’ve bought some paper book and a few e-books too.
Watching: The Diplomat on Netflix. The dialogues are brilliant.
Walking: more, which is good for my head. I’m now trying to go for a morning walk on my days off work at the library.
Noticing: all the changes is the trees and plants around me. It’s such a joy to see the nature spring to life again.
Saving: still for an electric bike.
Waiting: for some changes at work, but I’m afraid that I’ll have to wait some more.
Bookmarking: This
Feeling: low and a bit depressed
Hoping: that some rest in June will help me feel better again
How was your April?
A beautiful, vulnerable reflection. So much resonates in that I so look forward to spring and that moment of hope and feeling this great expanse of warm, energetic and productive time ahead. And then you blink and you’re ‘into it’ May feels ‘well into it’ and I also feel behind somehow. And I 100% relate with the garden. I was trying to gradually get on top of it, feeling like I was acting early ... and suddenly I’m faced with an unruly jungle! How did that happen?! 🤷🏼♀️😂 Sending positive thoughts your way and here’s to warmth and words and June ❤️
Hope May is a better month for you although there are lots of positives on your April list too 🌸🌺 I always buy books too when I’m feeling low, which explains why I have a really massive pile from the last 7 months 😜 I do read them though and I’m looking forward to doing some reading in the garden for the next few months 🌷🌻