When life feels chaotic

Planning, routine and structure

Last year, when I was sitting at my desk at the same time everyday for at least an hour, I’ve discovered that I thrive in routine and structure. It was like magic. My brain knew that this was the time to write and was focusing solely on that. I never knew that this was what I needed. I always worked jobs dependent on monthly rosters and never knew a real routine.

At the moment I find myself in this weird place where there’s lots going on at the same time. Or at least it feels like a lot to me. I have my library job, I’m starting a job training soon, I’ll be giving a course myself and there’s my writing and some translations to be done too. And let’s not forget my second job, which I can’t plan in advance. I feel like I’m in a middle of chaos, which is very bad for my brain and my writing.

I need a plan, a structure to my weeks, my writing happening always at the same time, otherwise it will not happen at all. So I pulled an old planner I wasn’t using any more (one where you can fill the dates yourself) and I’m trying to find the routine and plan all the days and weeks ahead. Everything I do needs time to work on and some things have a clear deadline, so it’s quite a puzzle, especially that I don’t know all the work needed for the job training yet.

I also know that when I start doing all those things it will all fall into place, but for now I feel slightly panicked. I never wanted for my life to get very busy. And maybe it won’t, it’s just that I still don’t have the overview of all those things and that’s why it makes me feel like this.

Also I’m a bit tired today and that’s when I never can see good solutions and everything seems a little bit too much and the fear that my writing will suffer in all this I huge. I need to keep reminding myself that this is my priority and it’s getting a fixed time in my days and everything else needs to be planned around it. This is how it needs to be, my mental health depends on it too.

Are you a planner? Do you like structure?

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