When unwanted ideas creep in
On not writing for all the wrong reasons
I’m sure you know how this works. First it starts with today I won’t write this letter, I have nothing to say. There’s nothing interesting going on in my life. I don’t want to bore anyone with another story of nothing special. I need to provide value, something that is worth the time of people who are reading this. But there’s nothing of value in my head. I can’t just write about whatever. I can’t just tell them about my days. And so I get to the next week and still there’s nothing. And the next one is the same, and the next. And then I realise that it is a month since I’ve last written to you.
Even my Morning Stories halted. Something I thought was the easy part, where I simply share my morning thoughts of the day. Short and sharp. Easy. And also not. Because there was nothing worth sharing on those mornings either. How strange. There’s always birds and cows and other shenanigans crowding my thoughts in the morning, but they all seemed just not good enough.
I thought that I was free of this nonsense I’ve let myself be talked to some time ago. All about creating value, as of our lives, thoughts, feelings are not valuable enough in themselves. This idea has made me very unhappy indeed. And it has kept me from writing for a long time. I worked hard to forget about it and just be myself. In life and on the page. To write what I want to write and not what I think I’m supposed to write. And still, somewhere along the edges it managed to creep back in.
I’m here to fight it. I want my life to be about breaking rules and creating my own paths. For me this is the best way to happiness and enjoyment. I want to share everything and anything. I want to talk about everything that crosses my mind and catches my attention. I don’t want to be one thing. I don’t want my life to be about creating value, but about seeing the value in the life itself.
I want to be me. (I have a feeling that I’ve said it before and then lost myself completely again, so let’s hope it won’t happen again.)
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Yes to all this, Anna!
Hi Anna. Perusing your archives and of course I was drawn to this piece. You already know how I relate!
Here's to sharing anything and everything. Whatever your heart wants to say without those pesky stories getting in the way. It's much easier to type than do and it's totally non linear. But let's do it!